what if i tell you the truth? will you still be with me?
and what if i tell you lies? will you still believe in me?

i just hoping that it is not you.your race, your status..they really bother me a lot!
if only i did not too close to you. did not smile that much to you. did not talk that nice to you. then i will not longing for you.

i always wanted you go for good. for your family. but you did not!

i hate to like you

Aku tida tahu bermain apa-apa alat muzik pun. Tapi aku amat ingin menjadi seperti mereka yang boleh memainkan lagu dari hati tanpa perlu mempelajarinya.

zulaikha in arabic it says "fair or intelligent (well born)"

while in persian it says " brilliant beauty, famous bearer : The heroine in Byron's poem. 'The Bride of Bydas (1813)'

iye. aku orang jahat. kau yang nak tengok sangat friendster aku. beriye-iye kau mintak email supaya boleh view aku punye friendster.

dah lepas tu kau nak ignore aku macam aku ni satu disease. padahal aku cuma nak tanya replacement kelas kat mane je. bukan aku nak mengorat kau pun. yang kau perasan sangat tu ape pasal?

perasan tu satu hal, kau nak nasihat aku, nasihat aje lah. tak payah kau kate nak faham-faham aku. kalau kau nasihat, aku dengar je. tak payah kau pura-pura sporting kalau kau tak. bukan aku kisah pun kau suka ke tak suka. jadi tak perlu kau nak gelabah mak datin.

oh lagi satu, kenapa kau suke nak gune ayat jiwang-karat-geli-aku-sakit-kepala dengar atau baca hah? bahasa2 camtu buat kau macam mat rempit kau tahu tak? moving on la sket.tak payah bunga-bunga. tak paham. rajin-rajin la baca buku,biography ke,novel, artikel pun jadi la.jangan asyik study je. tambah la knowledge pasal dunia luar jugak. ajak rakan-rakan tu sekali. jangan sibuk plan nak ruin kan event orang okay?

so, sekian la.sila datang lagi.


nota kaki: rakan masjid pun nak flirt jugak, bila da sampai seru menggatal. tapi nak yang pakai tudung saja ya. tak suke yang seksi diorang kate.

nota kaki lagi: seksi ke aku??

Say of her what you like,
But I know my Love's feelings,
I do not love her because she is good,
But because she is my Love,

How can you know how sweet she is?
When all you do is measure the good and the bad?
When I must let her go,
She becomes even more a part of me,
When I make she weep, I weep with her,

I,
alone have a right to judge her,
for only she, the one I love.


if it's only was wrote for me, i would be delighted.
however,this isn't the origin poem. because i forget them, not wholly but some part of it. i can't even remember who wrote this. all i know he is an indian man. i listen to this in one of my favorite movie.

so, i add some, change some, a little bit here and there.



p/s: this poem actually about a mother that loves her son more than anything else. so i change a bit, i want to make it as if, a boyfriend make this to his girlfriend, but now i think it sounds like.. very fatherly isn't it? hmph..

I hate noises but i love MUSICS..
I don't know how to draw but i love ARTS..
I don't understand, but i love BOOKS and i keep reading.

I'm no good at all but i appreciate FRIENDSHIP..
I can't make people laugh but i don't make them CRY...
but they do.

I hate regrets but i long for FORGIVENESS..
I love rains but i love sun shine TOO..
When i love someone, i love them till the end and never asked them to love me back even i want to.

I hate my pasts but i'm craving for the MEMORIES TO REMAIN..
I am tough but my heart can be broken into THOUSAND PIECES..
and it always does

I'm careful enough but sometimes i'm blinded by EMOTIONS..
I love being me but i can't stand MYSELF..
but i just can't hate me, am i?

I hate LIFE but i'm glad i'm ALIVE..
i just can't simply die anyway.

see me as i really am

I have flaws and sometimes i even SAD..
Even if i cried, don't see it as my WEAKNESS..
I don't know me but i will GET TO..
That's the main purpose of my EXISTENCE~

~sigh~

secawan kopi, sehidang rokok; kau gembira?

perihal-perihal hati;
perihal-perihal dunia - yang menyesakkan.
perihal manusia; rata-rata bertopengkan bermacam penyakit.

mencari ruang kosong sendiri untuk bernafas, yang hampir putus.
berfikir.(tapi sebenarnya berangan) teringat yang dulu. senyum kecil. malu.
aduh macam de javu.

masalah lagi. biarkan saja.
kau fikir, mahukan,

secawan kopi; tentu buat aku gembira.
sehidang rokok?

mungkin. jika aku m.nasir. heh


nota kaki: hana, m.nasir merokok tak?

27 November- si sagitarius.

very pretty?
tipu!

very romantic?
sikit-sikit boleh la

nice to everyone?
i see..i see.

spontaneous?
ye ke? *ehehe*

high appeal and great in sex?
er..entahlah. belum try lagi.

rare to find and great when found?
baguslah kalau begitu.special sedikit. tak lah stereotype.

very caring?
pura-pura sahaja.

polite and soft spoken?
bolehlah.sebab aku benci pemarah dan pembengis.

loyal and generous?
tangoklah.belum ada experience.

so much love to give?
yeah..have it all.

not one to mess with?
they do not care.

silly ,fun and sweet?
yeehaa!i like these. hehe.

easily influenced by kindness?
ha ah.aku lurus dan bingung.

having lots of ideas?
tapi semua tak boleh pakai

sensitive?
tapi tak de orang nk layan.

active mind?
kerana aku kuat berangan.

loves music and loves to dress up?
yeayyyyyyyy!

easily bored?
sangat.

easy to talk to,though hard to understand?
sebab aku poyo yang ikut kepala sendiri.

patriotic?
ouh,saya anak malaysia.

thinks far with vision,yet complicated to know?
aku kan bingung. heh.

O Perempuan-perempuan, Jangan Kau Terkejar-kejar

O Perempuan,

apa sahajalah yang kau sibuk-sibukkan?
dan apa jua-lah yang kau tergila-gilakan itu?

si Lelaki memang suka kau berebut, dan kejar-kejar. tambah lagi kalau kau orang langsung masam muka antara kau orang perempuan.

dan satu hal, jangan diturut sangat ikut hati yang mahu jadi kepala. dalam setiap perkumpulan perempuan, tentu saja ada yang sibuk hendak jadi kepala. masing-masing. nak jadi ketua kepada yang lain.untung-untung, punyai pengikut yang mengekor, membontot-ti ke mana saja.

kau orang semua tentu rasa yang kau orang lah yang paling hebat. kau orang lah yang paling 'cool' dalam dunia ni. ibarat nya satu perkumpulan yang paling happy go lucky! updated! searus dengan putaran zaman masa kini. konon-konon perempuan-perempuan lain tak hebat, tak ada taste, tak macam kau orang.


tapi kau orang sibuk juga terkeja-kejar.
1. lelaki
2. pangkat
3. glamour/populariti

.........


jadi mana hebatnya?



nota kaki: tentunya, aku juga perempuan. nasib la aku perempuan.

tapi moga di jauh kan aku dari menjadi perempuan-perempuan yang begitu.

deceiving

she felt that i deceived her, but she did deceived me for real at first! and all that i do, was nothing compare to her. in fact, i keep quiet and hush myself for that non-of-your-bussiness thing!.

she was the one who spread the rumors, spread the gossip. and yet, she act like i am over-acting when i respond to them.

what the hell is going on? such an act you have there.
simply being an innocent and reject me like a god-damn-diva! i was trying to be nice and support you all this long. you are an ASS! and you are a JERK!

you tell people that, that girl is plastic. while you're super plastic.paip PVC lagi kau tu, tau x? now she has go down. ironically, you're next. not by me. but those new girl will do. it is a process, you see. :)

if only i'm living my life like it is diamond, kan bagus. i am fully aware yang aku banyak dapat golden oppurtunity which orang lain idam-idam kan. well, nak buat macam mane, i easily get, so i tend to take things for granted.

and when it happen, i'm losing it all. not some, but ALL.

and, selalu jugak orang mention pasal 2nd chance in your life.tak denye orang nak bagi 2nd chance tu. as people said, you shouldn't let things that you get at the first place.

term "everybody made a mistake in their life, and deserve a 2nd chance" dah tak wujud dlm konteks hidup masa kini.reality check!

so apa mahu buat sekarang? duduk dan ternganga bawah tangga? atau menyorok dalam tempurung? atau juga tayang muka selamba tersorong-sorong?heh.


kembali pada yang berkuasa, dan minta tolong pada-Nya.moga Dia tunjukkan jalan, hidayah dan dipermudahkan segalanya.
itulah kita semua kan?

surat menyurat.

beberapa bulan ini, aku selalu buat surat. recommendation letter la, apeal letter la, cover letter la. dan macam-macam lagi. aku rasa mcm kerani pula. surat menyurat hampir setiap hari. untuk si anu la, si polan, si aminah, si ahmad.

wah bnyak nye surat!
asik menyurat saje kerjaku. hasil nya??

tapi, satu hal yang pasti aku sgt terer menyurat skrg. baik dlm bahasa penjajah mahupun bahasa yg di jajah. agak2 kau orang, aku boleh buat duit dalam surat menyurat ni tak?

so anyone??